Saturday, January 4, 2014

Answered Prayers


I am always amazed at the variety of ways that personal prayers are answered, and I know that MOST of the time it really has to do with the state of my heart and my willingness to SEE the blessings that are continually pouring out from the Heavens to bless me--and each of us--everyday.  Case in point, I recently found myself having a difficult day, fighting off a particular stubborn outbreak of "comparititus."  This is my Kryptonite:  Comparing myself and my life/circumstances to others.  It lays dormant until, BAM, it can hit so quickly, unexpectedly, and irrationally.  This particular episode happened on Christmas Day, always an emotionally charged day for me (I'm not sure why).  As we were gathered with extended family to exchange gifts, I excitedly waited for the moment when Steve and I would give our combined gift to his brother and his wife.  It was a painting that we bought for them that made reference to the song, "Consider the Lilies" in memoriam of their 2 year old daughter, Lily, who passed away a few years ago. I wanted my sister-in-law to know that we think about Lily all the time and miss her.  Before we had a chance to give them this gift, however, this same sister-in-law gave her gifts to Steve's younger sister and Steve's parents.  Her gifts were beautiful paintings that she created for each of them. This is a new talent that Kim began developing this year, and has become something that brings her much joy.  I love that she has this passion. She is very creative and artistic in many other areas, and this is another medium which she has discovered for expressing her creativity.  I love her work and hope to someday own something painted by her, and I know that she was touched by the painting that we gave her.  But I could feel that pesky "comparititus" begin to creep in.  I fought it all day.  However, by the next day it overcame and overwhelmed me as I struggled to find and realize the things that I do well. I am not artistic in the sense that I can create art, although I do love my home and the way that I have decorated it.  I love the written word. I am moved to tears by a beautifully written song, poem, short story, talk, play, or novel.  I can hear or read many different sources and find connections between them.  I feel this is one of my creative gifts and is one that I employ often when having to prepare and teach a lesson.  I love to learn and be a part of a classroom discussion.  I know these things about myself, but during the throws of comparing myself with someone else's abilities I can lose sight of this.  I knew I was battling a fight that was bigger than myself, so I turned to my Father in Heaven in a prayer of supplication to help me see the good in myself and my abilities.  My Father has never once let me down, and I began to immediately feel, hear, and see what my Father wanted me to see about myself.  Through His Spirit, I knew I was loved and valued and that I have gifts to offer the world.  My Father knows that deep within my soul is a true desire to serve others and to be the best person I can be. I know that he has put opportunities in my path to discover this about myself.  Three years ago, I never even THOUGHT of getting my CNA license and to seek employment at an assisted living establishment. On a whim, I joined my daughter in taking a CNA course, followed by stepping into the unknown world of seeking a job in the health industry.  I've been surprised to find myself still working as a CNA and LOVING it.  When I look back at the turbulence of my life these past few years, I've realized that this work of caring for others has saved me.  It has allowed me to develop love and compassion, patience and unconditional love for others.  I have held the hands of countless residence, talked with them, and washed and prepared their bodies after they have passed.  It is a sacred work and an honor. And an answered prayer.

Monday, November 25, 2013

Band of Brothers




This morning I heard a story on the radio that brought tears to my eyes and earned a spot on my Hope Blog.  What touched my heart the most was the emotion of the 5th grade boy as he told a reporter about what they did to help out their kindergarten friend that was getting bullied for having a speech imediement and wearing suites to school.  I was so impressed that a bunch of 5th grade boys chose to respond in a positive way, and not retaliate by being bullies back.  I love seeing the goodness in young men who will grow up to be great men because they chose to do good and BE good!
There IS Hope for the Future!


From the article:

On Wednesday, Cooney and 44 other fifth-graders arrived in school and surrounded the dashing 6-year-old Danny, all dressed in jackets and ties.
'This is the best day ever,' a beaming Danny exclaimed as the older kids chanted his name in the library. 
The first-grader's father, Mark Keefe, who is the assistant coach of the Badgers, told the fifth-graders that they should be proud of themselves. 
Cooney turned emotional while talking about his team's beloved waterboy, tearfully explaining to the anchors of Fox 25 that the 6-year-old is part of their ‘band of brothers,’ and they were not going to let anyone bully him. 
‘We thought we would all come to school like Danny and sponsor Danny to show Danny that we love him...that we love him very much,’ the 11-year-old told WCVB, wiping his eyes.


Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2512633/Kindness-suits-Moment-fifth-grade-football-team-rallies-bullied-special-needs-waterboy-likes-wear-jackets-ties-dressing-like-him.html#ixzz2lgniN4Nq
Follow us: @MailOnline on Twitter | DailyMail on Facebook

Sunday, November 24, 2013

My Path



I woke up this morning at 12:30 a.m. with a start and a pounding heart as my brain remebered that my youngest daughter was not home.  I did not have a clue as to where she was.  My last contact with her was at 6:30 p.m. the night before when she called me from her work to tell me that she was struggling and needed more "space." She would see me in the morning at 11 a.m. to go to church wth me.  She is only 16 years old, and this is always a frightening conversation because of the past several years that we have just gone through together.  Years that have involved startling and heartbreaking discovery of drug use, internet porn involvement, sexual abuse and attacks by perpetrators.  She spent almost a year and a half in a youth rehab program costing us personally about $100,000 and countless hours of support meetings, therapy appointments, hosting girls from the program in our home, and fervent prayers for a miracle in her life. I've looked deep into myself to learn what I need to be doing differently and to implement those changes.  I'm still learning about boundaries and how to appropriately set and stick to them.  I have often felt very much alone, although I KNOW that I'm not.  I have family and friends, and above all my Heavenly Father and Savior.  But those moments still come out of nowhere and hit me like a sledge hammer:  this is not how I thought my life would be.  Then, the hopelessness begins to slowly seep in until the flow begins to build from a trickle to a steady stream to a deluge.  It is at this moment that I desperately need to find some HOPE and strength to keep hanging in there.  Life is good, and will be good.  Thus, my need to document the hope that is around each of us every day, if we will but take the time to look with our eyes, hear with our ears, feel with our hearts.

After this particular restless night, THIS is what gave me the beginnings of hope for today:

A desperate pleading prayer for peace, comfort, protection, and enlightenment

A middle of the night drive with my 20 year old, looking for my 16 year old

A husband who was willing to hold me and listen to me as I expressed the painful heartache of my soul

A song by Mercy River, entitled: It Might Be Hope (which gave me the title and inspiration for this blog)

A calm and peaceful Sunday morning, with beautiful music playing, and my husband and two of my daughters having a fun conversation together.

The sun is peeking out through the layers of clouds.  This WILL be a good day.